I see London I see France. Wow. they’re both 486 miles away from eachother. That’s a long way. I have great eyesight.
i want to write the kind of short stories you read in english class that are on this weird level of surrealism that they still haunt you years down the road
There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.
once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy
au where gatsby and nick get married and gatsby’s vows are all addressed to old sport and when the preacher asks if he takes nicholas carraway to be his lawfully wedded husband, gatsby just stands there in confusion for a few minutes and eventually confesses that he has no idea who nicholas carraway is he’s here to marry old sport
❝I got teased for being a redhead when I was younger, which is strange because I’m Scottish and there are loads of us - we should unite forces! I love my red hair.❞
i am the biggest dick lover of them all
not so fast